I don’t sleep train my babies and you don’t have to either. It’s okay not to sleep train a baby.
Babies are notoriously miserable sleepers. Whether it’s teething, a developmental milestone (or leap) or just because; babies are terribly miserable sleepers. At least the babies I received. Luckily, they’ve perked up in toddlerhood to be slightly better, but you can’t have everything.
Some babies still wake every 1-2-3-4 hours during the night to request some love and attention from the caregivers, and it’s kind of normal.
My 10 month old sleeps like she’s in pain when she’s teething. She’s sobbing every 90 minutes and having screaming outbursts in the night. Teething at night is unbelievably tough, and that’s why I don’t sleep train. She still needs me because she’s having a really hard time coping with pain.
My 10 month old wakes every 3-4 hours. She wants to check in, snack, and be reminded she’s safe and okay. I’m okay with that. It’s developmentally normal she’s not ready to sleep long bursts at night. Her normal is not the same as other sleeping children.
I wasn’t okay with the frequent night wakings and the lack of sleep that came with my first child. But, 2.5 years later, I’m now a pro at not sleeping and at surviving on fragmented bursts of sleep with early wake ups. It’ll be okay. This phase is short lived and there are many more sleepless nights ahead of us once our kids do start sleeping.
Sleep is for the weak. We got this.
10 Reasons Not to Sleep Train
- Coffee is Good.
- Too Much Sleep is Bad for you.
- Sleeping in long stretches is overrated.
- Boobs.
- Naptime is the best time.
- Sleeping Alone Sucks
- Cortisol Level research is intimidating.
- They are only little once.
- Team Lazy. #tootiredtosleeptrain
- Cribs are evil. Actually, it’s more that I can’t put a child in a crib without falling all over myself.
With those ridiculously silly reasons, I don’t sleep train and instead I opt out of sleeping with my husband and I sleep with my babies. There’s tons of other time in our life for sex and sleep. It’s okay not to sleep train a baby.
Personal Reasons…
The biggest reason I don’t sleep train is that crying babies stress me out. An uncontrollable, crying and fussing babies me an anxious hot mess. It triggers all sorts of rage inside me. I opt out of crying it out because I know crying it out will make me a mom I don’t want to know. I meet angry mom much too often, and ’bouts of uncontrollable infant crying is the number one reason she comes out. Plus, they are only little once and why waste precious time crying, when you could be cuddling?
You don’t have to sleep train.
It’s okay not to sleep train a baby.
You do just have to admit infant and baby sleep might be miserable.
It definitely isn’t in the job description, but it should be. Acknowledging miserable sleep is the first step to sleep confidence and knowing everything is going to be okay. Stressing out about your child’s sleep but not wanting to do anything about it is the worst case scenario. If your infant or toddler doesn’t sleep, it’ll be okay.
Sure seek out answers on the internet, but its okay to trust your mama instincts and opt out of strategies that don’t work for you and your family.
It’s okay not to sleep train a baby, but you gotta own it mama, and you gotta live the life.
Not everyone is sleep training and crying it out with babies. I know it feels like it. Some of us are on team crazy and we cuddle, rock, and meet our babies needs where they need them in a way that works for us.
Complain less, live more.
This too will pass. This too will pass.
Do you need to complain about your miserable untrained sleeping baby? I encourage you to let me know all about it in the comments. Be anonymous or own who are you. I would love to hear your stories because misery loves company. We aren’t the only ones who babies still wake at night. And that’s a-okay. Love you mama, you got this because you are strong.
Love that you wrote a post on NOT sleep training your baby! I see so many posts about why you should sleep train your baby, and it kills me a little. Babies are supposed to wake up during the night, and i really believe that having them sleep through the night is unnatural (although I do realize some babies naturally do this). I say this having 4 kids, non of which slept through the night before 9 months old, and 2 of those kids didn’t sleep through the night until they were over 1 year of age.
Right. That’s my inspiration, so many babies being sleep trained and I needed to own my confidence around what works for me, my babies and family. Thanks for sharing. It’s comforting knowing other mamas have non-sleeping children. I sometimes wonder if I got the defects, but that’s just who they are.
<3 I needed this at this very moment 🙁 life hasn’t been easy with my crazy toddler but I know there is a reason it’s happening <3 I’ve contemplated sleep training but I I know it doesn’t fit with who I am so I’m just trying to work through it with my girl and hope it’ll get better soon <3
This was amazing! With our first child we used the modified CIO by Tracy Hogg, and it worked for us then. When our second came along, we did some sleep training and ended up miserable, stressed out, and constantly fighting with a screaming, crying baby and then toddler. One day we finally said enough and let her come into our bed at nights. She’d go down in her bed with the understanding that ours was also fair game, and sometimes she’d do the reverse. We all were happier and got better sleep because of it!
With this third baby, I have specifically not sleep trained her, and I’m so happy to find someone who gets it. I’m a master at operating on little to no sleep, and the sleep I do get is much better because I can nurse through it, snuggle the baby to bed, etc. We’re all more rested and happier, and my baby, albeit mighty clingy at this stage, is happy knowing I’m right here if she needs me, no matter what time that might be.
Thank you so much! It’s so important to normalize crappy infant and toddler sleep! my 14 month old still wakes every 1-3 hours at night, and thats normal! But the looks people give me when I say that (along with the fact that he has never slept in a crib) make me doubt myself. It’s so good to hear someone else who can’t deal with crying and chooses not to sleep train, and acknowledges how much it sucks and how much it will be ok! so again, THANK YOU!!