I’m THAT mom.
You’ll find me at the mall, at the playground, or at home breastfeeding my baby and scrolling on my phone.
I can’t remember the last time I purposefully breastfed without scrolling. Maybe a one-off here and there, someone fell and bonked their head, or my phone was lost under a couch cushion.
There are arguments asking moms to put down the phones and pay attention to the baby.
I don’t buy into this hype. It’s not for me.
I’m just not interested in putting down the phone.
The social media addiction is real, y’all. But it’s more than that. It’s more than the addiction.
I am lonely.
Nobody told me being a stay-at-home-mom would be so desparingly lonely. Without family in town to visit and share in the experience of raising a family, I find myself at a loss of how to function as a normal adult without a phone in my hand.
There are ways to make friends and connect. Mom groups, sure, but have you ever taken a wild toddler like mine to circle time? There’s a good chance we’d be kicked out. But how many mom groups can you really go to in a week? I tap out at about one, maybe two, before the social anxiety kicks in and I’m done.
Have you ever taken 2 kids within 2 to mom group? Packed the bag? Loaded the car? Somehow found the room? Chased a toddler? Abandoned a newborn? Loaded back up? Returned home, only to crash in a pile of exhaustion. #nothanks #noteveryday #justonceaweek
In my desperate attempt to feel like a human again, you’ll find this introverted mom scrolling while breastfeeding. My phone is always in my hand, and it’s just the way I like it. My work colleagues are right there on my phone. I find them in the Facebook Groups, on Instagram, and by text messages. I need to be social, and without visitors, I seek it out online.
I much rather dive into my phone when nursing than any other time of the day. I’d rather nurse and scroll, then spend time on my phone when she’s awake and alert. Catching up on my limited attempt at social interaction is best done when nursing.
I don’t really like breastfeeding.
The other reason you’ll find me nursing and scrolling because of breastfeeding kind of sucks.
Don’t get me wrong, I love breastfeeding. I advocate for breastfeeding and breastfeeding is one of the best decisions I made for my family.
But it kind of sucks.
Breastfeeding is boring.
Breastfeeding isn’t always comfortable.
Breastfeeding is exhausting.
And just because my kid is cute, doesn’t’ mean I want to admire her for a solid 10 minutes or more.
Another human sucking on the nipple is just weird. I need a distraction.
It’s most evident when handling the difficulties of nursing a toddler. I have to be preoccupied because the rage, the feeling of being touched out, and the overwhelming sensation of losing control of your life needs a distraction.
It is less weird with my baby, but still, what else is there to do? I would rather not obsess about the draining sensation from my breasts as a hot acidic mouth with teeth latches and suckles. #hardpass #wheresmyphone?
If you’re looking for me… I’ll be nursing & scrolling.