About two weeks into our four week holiday, I was ready to just be done. My husband works for the railway, and I’m not used to spending so much quality time with him. Things continued to get tense as the holiday progressed and expectations turned into disappointments and fustration. But we survived. We are still married.
If you follow me on social media, you might have noticed Anna and I returned to Vancouver, while my husband and Walter went to Prince George and then met up with us in Chilliwack. While this was a logical diversion, it was primarily because we just needed a break from each other. #noshameinthatgame.
There are some things I love about the railway, but hot damn, I forgot how much this solo-parenting, solo-bedtime, mom life thing sucks.
Seriously.
You never know what kinda shifts you’re going to get, and while he is holding a board, there’s still chaos in that madness.
First week back to Railway Life means…
Always working.
Always sleeping.
Never time for anything else.
There’s still night shifts and gone for 36 hours, and everything else in between. There’s day sleeping, and napping and 2 am showers because someone came home from work.
After four glorious weeks, it means a rude awakening as you remember the challenge of this railway wife lifestyle you live.
Can we go back to Vacation Mode?
It’s so much easier to parent with another human being, and I forgot how much solo parenting sucks.
I just want to go grocery shopping without two toddlers.
I just want to visit the dentist without arranging for a babysitter.
I just want to not be 100% responsible for the kids.
Coming off of vacation mode, where we tag team one parent per child, this two parents per mom thing sucks. #justsaying.
I keep loosing one child… and by that I mean misplacing them in the chaos of life, remebering “oh ya, I did bring the big toddler.”
My house is a disaster. I can’t keep up. Everyone is making messes around me and my husband is barely home long enough to do anything more than the dishwasher. I had a break down this week in which I just wondered – DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THIS? To some extent, I want to cut him a break, because I get that work thing, but I also want to write, and work on my websites, podcasts, and more. Trying to find that non-existent balance isn’t reliable.
It’s okay if we’ve been living off pizza and sushi? Right? Maybe I’ll recover, and if you have some awesome parenting mojo for this home maker leave a tip below
Remember that time when I wrote about how much I wanted my husband to go back to work? Turns out this railway lifestyle, like others, is one big messy cluster fuck. #truestory. I never know what I want.
Maybe it’s the major tooth pain from needing a root canal, the increased pain in my feet (re: bunions) requiring me to wear shoes at all time mixed with the chaos of no-more preschool that makes me want to just slow down and have some dad home for a while time.
I can’t do it all.
I’m hiring a cleaning lady tomorrow.
And then I’ll return to my summer bliss.
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