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February 24, 2015 by Bailey

Stay-at-home-wife, Month 1: Recap, what I’ve learnt so far

It’s been almost an entire month of living the Stay-at-home life. I’ve applied for jobs (about 8 or 10), had an interview, and had no luck. I keep trying… The job market is competitive when you refuse to return to the daily grind of retail for minimum wage.

Month1-lessonslearnt-SAHWxcf

In this past month I’ve learnt the following about the Stay-at-home life for the unemployed without kids.

1. Keeping your house neat and tidy is harder than you think. There’s no urgency in sweeping the floor, or doing the laundry. There’s always tomorrow, and tomorrow is another stay-at-home type of day. I’ve developed a few good habits like running the dishwasher each night before going to bed, but that’s about it.

2. Stop Multi Tasking. That’s right. I think it’s built in to want to do multiple things at once, but when you’re living the stay-at-home life, stop that. If you do too much at once you miss out on the value of a good text message conversation, or the story line of your favourite tv show… Sometimes you just need to sit back and dedicate yourself to one thing at a time. And guess what, that’s okay. SLOW DOWN. I’ve also learnt multi tasking means that you have a greater abundance of time in which you’re at a loss of what to do… because you’ve done it all!

3. Socialising is important, but hard. It’s amazing how difficult it is to have friends once you’re out of school and out of the work force. I have a total of TWO friends I see regularly. For those moments in which we enjoy a cup of tea or walk the dogs, I am glad to be out of the house, and even more ecstatic to be talking to someone besides myself. But, they have lives, They go to work and school and do their own thing. They can’t be my source of everyday entertainment. I’m still at a loss of how to make more friends… I find myself lurking on forums and the like… reminds me of being a moody teenager when the internet was just becoming a thing.

4. You will feel useless and inadequate. You know it’s true. You’re not contributing an income to the household budget (just spending it). You may not be out in the community contributing to the greater good. As a result, at the end of the day you may feel useless and inadequate. I’ve had the cry. It’s okay to have the cry. It will all be better, we just need to find a way to be useful and adequate. Find your own niche, I can’t tell you what mine is because I haven’t found it yet, but I’m working on it.

The transition hasn’t been easy. I struggle with it every day, but I’ll get there, I’ll be okay with this. In the meanwhile, I continue to apply for jobs, and continue to try to think about prioritizing the cleanliness of my house (no guarantees).

Big life struggles come with their challenges.

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