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December 12, 2020 by Bailey

Why do accidents happen when Potty Training?

Do you ever read potty training blog posts and wonder what kind of magic that blogger or parent has? This is a blog post about potty training from one mother to another parent.

Sometimes, these things are hard to see when you are in the moment, and sometimes you feel like a bad mom because this is happening around you. But you aren’t. This is just the survive and thrive struggle of motherhood, potty training and juggling it all.

Update 2020 – We did successfully get both kids to use the potty, and my second time around it was much easier because I was aware of triggers and things that made my children upset. For me, so much of potty training was parenting and supporting my child to feel safe. These are easy things to write, but hard things to play out in real life. You know what you need to know. You can do this.

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Why? Potty Training Accidents

The potty training experience has been an ebb and flow of things working and things not working. My toddler is really awesome at going to the bathroom at home, but sometimes we have accidents. Toddler Potty Training might not be perfect and in my house these are three reasons potty training accidents happen.

  1. When Mom gets Angry at Him.
    If I loose my cool, then he looses his bladder. I loose my cool more often than I care to admit, but mostly its the very angry mom which results in puddles around my house. Parenting a toddler is hard, fucking hard. 
  2. When Dad forces him to use the Potty.
    If Dad is hounding him to go to the potty before we go to bed or leave the house, then he just backs off the potty training train, and starts making accidents. This is especially evident for us during nap. Parenting a toddler is hard, fucking hard. He’s so fiercely independent and does not want to be told what to do. 
  3. When he has to wear underwear, training pants, or pants. 
    Seriously, I can’t seem to break this one. It’s getting better. He wont pee his training pants when we go somewhere and he knows where the toilet is. Sometimes a little accident while we are stripping down to bare bum, but at home, if I try the undies or the training pants, its’ pooping and peeing central. Figuring otu this milestone is hard, fucking hard. I’ve tried regular underwear, training pants, nothing – just pants, but sigh, nothing is sticking quite yet. Probably why its called potty learning. It will come with time. 

When do accidents in your house? Tell me in the comments below because I know there are variances on normal.

I know I need to be a better parent and a more relaxed version of myself. I lose my cool way too often, and when the accidents happen, staying calm is so unbelievably hard. Most days I’m pretty sure I’m not cut out for this parenting crapy, and I definitely just want to piece out. Who knew teaching a child to use the potty would take so much time?

I could try one of those three-day courses other bloggers and moms write about, but if you know my kid, you know he doesn’t do anything you want him to do. This is evident by #2 on my list.

He’s almost fully trained, but the lack of speech gives us some serious barriers when we leave the house and go to unfamiliar places. I’m waiting patiently for more words (just kidding, it drives me nuts). When we do leave the house, I choose a diaper if its somewhere without a washroom and training pants if its somewhere with a washroom. We also use diapers if we suspect a poop.

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