“Are you even a mom?”
We all know that one mom on social media, or maybe even real life, that makes us question if they are even a mom. Their life looks like a perfect collection of highlight reels that may or may not involve their children. It’s in the somewhat regular trips away, and holidays without children, that you find yourself muttering “are they even a mom?”
And that’s dangerous.
The comparison game is dangerous. You know it. I know it, but doesn’t mean we don’t play the game from time to time. Or at least get buried into thoughts of jealousy.
I’ve unfollowed, but the thought still lingers in the back of my head as I wonder why I was handed this garbage plate of motherhood, while others get to travel the world without their infants/toddlers/children. I wonder why others get to go to work and fill their days with passion and excitement, while I’m stuck trying to figure out how to get my children to not kill each other. I wonder why I haven’t even been able to go on a date night in years, and yet others are taking weekend getaways.
But we each get handed our journey for our own reasons, and I don’t know her story.
Maybe she is struggling with meeting expectations, or maybe she’s struggling with motherhood, or maybe she’s not. These are assumptions and we all know assumptions are no good for anyone.
And sure some days, our journey in motherhood feels like we’re being dragged through the mud and back. Sometimes, I can barely muster up the confidence to leave our children with the babysitter for a few hours to go do something like grocery shopping without pulling out my hair.
And yet, somewhere on the internet, or even at mom group (because these moms exist in real life), is a perfectly polished mother who’s infant spends the weekend with the grandparents. Or perhaps has other lavish life experience that you can’t even imagine. But that’s not my journey, and that’s not what I’m hear to experience.
Oh, but I want it. Don’t you? A weekend to sleep without little feet rubbing your back? An hour to go to the bathroom without a knock on the door?
While I lust, I remember her journey is not mine, and mine is not hers.
You are still a mom if…
She is still a mom regardless of my assumptions of her life. Social Media is still the highlight reel, even if we share the vulnerable stuff, it’s still just a highlight reel of what we are excited to share.
And that’s not a bad thing, go ahead share your highlights because it inspires to do something, be something, and more.