It’s hard to be a mama to two fierce toddlers. Some days are not easy. I wrote this one night after a very long night trying to put the kids to bed. It’s not infrequent for bedtime rituals and routines to make me feel this way, or motherhood in general.

Learn how I try to cope with bedtime routines with a baby and a toddler as a solo parent. These tricks make me less angry, but sometimes I forget that. 

Bedtime makes me an angry mom, but not a bad mom.

Every day I’m trying a little more, but every night I’m a little more drained than the day before. Bedtime continues to be the hardest part of my day, especially when I’m on hour 18 of this solo parenting gig I do some of the time.

Bedtime makes me an angry mom.

Because it’s all me all the time.

Because I didn’t get children who could put themselves to sleep without tedious routines, rocking, and coddling.

I tried that cry it out thing but I didn’t last ten minutes. I couldn’t listen to my baby scream bloody murder while I sat on the other side. I just can’t sleep train a baby. 

Because my children can’t go to bed without me sometimes I’m pushed to my limits. It’s the straw that broke the camels back because my children’s lack of nighttime sleep isn’t the reason I’m angry tonight.

Sure maybe this is the point in my life where you’ll say “bailey, just let them cry, they’ll fall asleep eventually and you’ll be a better mom.”

What kind of bull shit parenting advice is that?

I’m sitting outside the door taking five minutes while she is clearly distraught in her bed and my anxiety is spiking and the tears just flow harder, for both of us.

I’m angry because this is the fourth time I’ve tried to convince her to sleep and she refuses.

I’m angry because she doesn’t have any words to tell me why she is unbelievably distraught tonight. She was such a sweet newborn compared to my first, but babyhood has unleashed something wild in her. 

I’m angry because I have to do this alone. Almost every freaking night.

I’m angry because I know the world will tell me “just CIO” but that’s terrible parenting advice for my needs as a mother and person. I don’t need parenting advice. I need parenting support. I need a friend. I need family. I need someone to want to be there to help me with my children and I’m tired of asking for it. #justshowupforme

So I’m going to go back in there and I’ll rock her to sleep and pray my toddler doesn’t barge in waking her up for the fifth time today.

I’m going to keep rocking her and try not to be the angry mom exhausted with bedtime.

Bedtime Struggles

• This is how I figured out how to bedtime with a baby and a toddler solo without losing my cool. I’m not perfect, but those tips help me out.
• When your Toddler Hates Bedtime. 
• 10 Reasons not to sleep train your baby. 
• Sleeping at Grandma’s House
• 3 Cloth Training Pants for Bedwetting.