As I am now nearing the end of my pregnancy (hopefully, any day now), I am surprisingly beginning to feel better in regards to my overall pelvic pain. As I told my physiotherapist yesterday, I’m now having more good days than bad days. How’d this happen? Well, I attribute it to A) an amazing acupuncture appointment about 3 weeks back that released an unknown muscle spasm in my low back and B) me coming to terms with bed rest.
I’m not officially on bedrest and I am very thankful for that. Instead, I’m on a sort of self imposed (and enforced by my husband) take it easy, don’t do much, just relax and enjoy your pregnancy. In many ways, its kind of more of a modified bed rest. One of the best ways to feel good is not to aggravate my pelvis. One of the best ways not to aggravate my pelvis is to limit the number of trips up and down the stairs, the number of trips to the grocery store, the things I carry, and the workload I do. Therefore, in order to spend fewer days crying in bed, I need to spend more days in bed.
I’ve known since early June that I have been doing to much and I need to slow down. However, as a busy body the idea of slowing down, spending more time in bed or on the couch, is hard to grasp. It’s even harder to embrace. How does someone just admit defeat and let the house go a mess and projects go unfinished? It’s not easy… every day that I just lay in bed reading or watching Netflix, I cringe knowing that the downstairs guest room is only half painted. I cringe knowing that I never got to clean out the bottom row of cupboards in the kitchen. I cringe knowing my husband does a terrible job at cleaning the bathroom.
- I have an amazingly supportive husband. He’s absolutely terrible at doing chores and making housework a priority, however in recent weeks he’s really stepped up his game in helping me feel not guilty for leaving housework, or spending the entire day on the couch watching Netflix. I get scolded when I carry things, and he’s does the weekly trip to the grocery store, and lays in bed with me. As a railway man, it is a bit challenging because it does mean I go long periods of the week without him… but during those times I just let it be. and just stop nagging him. It doesn’t do anything but make your relationship more tense, come to terms that he’s not perfect.
- Messy Houses are OKAY. Once I’m feeling better, once the baby is born and we’ve established our relationship, I can be the perfect house wife. But in the meanwhile, coming to terms with the priorities has helped me and I think this will help me have a great post part period. My house has never really been clean when I was going to college, and the guilt comes from being a stay at home wife and feeling I need to contribute, but remember, while I might not be working or studying, I’m growing a baby. I am okay that the house is not immaculate. It does not need to be at this moment in time. My health, my body, my baby are more IMPORTANT than freshly washed floors, steamed couches, and clutter free zones.
- I considered hiring help, but have failed to follow thru on that. It scares me to have someone come into my home and clean it. Instead, because I am still mobile, I do like one chore a day. Today I might pick up all the dishes and load the dishwasher (since Hubby is gone till tomorrow for work). Tomorrow, I might sweep the floors (the vacuum is too heavy and causes pain). Saturday I might wash the mirrors. Just one little thing a day. Makes me feel useful, without causing stress or strain on my body.
- Make the Bed Somewhere you want to be. Since admitting that bedrest means time in bed, my hips have felt better. I think as much as it’s nice to lay in a recliner or on the couch all day, these spaces are not ideal for alleviating pressure off our pelvis and thus create more pain. Since, spending more time in bed, my hips have felt better. I think theres a crazy correlation there.
- Make the Bed – I never really used to make the bed. But if you’re going to spend all day in bed, a nicely made bed is the best place to do it.
- Stock your nightside table – my nightside table is stocked with all the basics: a box of tissues, TUMS (crazy heartburn this mom has), water, lip chap, chargers, books, journal, headphones, colouring book (seriously best invention ever).
- Stuff to do – admittingly, I sleep so much now, that’s usually how I spend my day. But I also have a few things to do – I have a sweet adult colouring book I bought. I have thank you cards to write. I play a ton of candy crush. I admit to using the mommy boards online as a source of social interaction.
- Load up on pillows – the more pillows the better. I invested in a Snoogle back in February. Best $50 I ever spent. Between the pregnancy pillow and all the other pillows, I can prop myself in whatever position I want. Whether it be lying on my belly colouring or sitting upright reading, or just resting.
- Keep it tidy – chaos distracts me. So I did spend one afternoon organizing my closet (very slowly) and I make sure I keep the floors tidy and the garbage under control. If the room was a mess, I’d never be able to relax.
- Let it Go. Letting go of any idea that I have to be superwoman, that I have to spring clean, that I have to nest, that I have to do this and that is my final words of advice. It doesn’t seem easy, but once you can and do let go of any ideas of who you have to be, it’s better. Just rest. Just relax. Just don’t do anything and be okay with that. It’s not easy. I know us busy bodies want to do it all. We want to be perfect, and we want to be super people, but the best super person we can be is to let it go, and just let our bodies heal. Our home might be a mess, our dogs might not have been walked for 5 days, and we might be suffering from a mild case of cabin fever, but soon our babies will be in our arms, and soon, we will be glad we took the time to heal our bodies so we chase after our little ons. I keep telling myself this is good for me. This is what my body needs. The fewer days I spend in tears, the better my mood and the better my body heals.
- Even in Canada, you can do most of your shopping online. Since shopping online, I no longer have to run a qua zillion errands to get things done and that means less trips up and down my stairs and less trips in and out of stores, which makes these hips feel better! I do admit I feel mildly guilty about shopping online instead of using local stores, but I’ll return to you local stores, I promise. I bought all of my postpartum supplies from well.ca, and the last remaining baby things was just a click away at Babies-R-Us online. The only thing I haven’t been able to do online is my grocery shopping. It’s not available in my area, but if it was, I’d do that too! So in the meanwhile, I let the trip to the grocery store be my weekly walk. I strap on my SI belt, wear my good shoes, have hubby push the cart, and we just take it slow and easy. A girl needs to get some exercise.
That’s how I’m surviving my modified bed rest of sorts. I’ve come to terms with my messy house, and started to enjoy the time spent in my bed. I’m just letting it be. How have you struggled and come to terms with just resting?