It’s 2020, but we still need to remind other women, other men, and society that our partners worth doesn’t define us because people still be throwing that in your face about why you should or should not pursue something.
I’ve had an emotionally challenging and draining month after being told some words that cut deep to my own identity as a person. It reminded me that I should trust people less, but that I also need to keep speaking out for what I believe. That perspective she has of me, is not my reality, nor should it be anyones reality.
We are all deserving of what we want to achieve.
I’m not wealthy enough to pay for a nanny and chase my dreams.
I’m not poor enough to seen as needing childcare.
I’m not essential enough to still have a job or childcare spot.
My struggle does not outshine your struggle.
We are easy to jump to the conclusion that we must compare struggles. That because I speak out about my own struggle of feeling forgotten by my community that I immediately diminish the struggle of others. But that could be nothing further from the truth. My struggle is layered in guilt and shame of knowing that there are others who have it worse and that I should just be quiet.
This post is not this or that, but just a memory of this months struggle of knowing my worth and understanding my value. It’s me writing to say that I feel like worthless human who is not allowed to pursue her dreams in social media strategy because someone said I should just be blessed to live my privileged life as a wife of an CN employee. And that really hurt me this month, and I’m not sure I’ve even recovered. I’ve lost my mojo to even return to the things I love – because the things I love have so little value in the eyes of anyone else. I wrote a book. I have a successful podcast. I know social strategy – but that’s not things of value. Those are hobbies and things that because I’m a woman I should just give away for free. I feel lost in the business community knowing that people just don’t understand knowledge based businesses. I feel lost.
I support the need for universal childcare – a system that does not rank us based on the value of our job, the money our partners make, or discriminate based on something else.. 1 in 7 working mothers have not yet returned to their pre-COVID employment. We lag behind the men.
So yes, I am worried that this pandemic means my career is now on pause indefinitely. I can come to understand that truth, but I will not let this pandemic slide women back to the 1950s. We are more than that and we can come out the other side acknowledging the core systemic issues of the patriarchy and it’s impact on women, women in the work force, and those dreaming of returning.