I’m THAT mom.
You’ll find me at the mall, at the playground, or at home breastfeeding my baby and scrolling on my phone.
I can’t remember the last time I purposefully breastfed without scrolling. Maybe a one-off here and there, someone fell and bonked their head, or my phone was lost under a couch cushion.
There are arguments asking moms to put down the phones and pay attention to the baby.
I don’t buy into this hype. It’s not for me.
I’m just not interested in putting down the phone.
The social media addiction is real, y’all. But it’s more than that. It’s more than the addiction.
I am lonely.
Nobody told me being a stay-at-home-mom would be so desparingly lonely. Without family in town to visit and share in the experience of raising a family, I find myself at a loss of how to function as a normal adult without a phone in my hand.
There are ways to make friends and connect. Mom groups, sure, but have you ever taken a wild toddler like mine to circle time? There’s a good chance we’d be kicked out. But how many mom groups can you really go to in a week? I tap out at about one, maybe two, before the social anxiety kicks in and I’m done.
Have you ever taken 2 kids within 2 to mom group? Packed the bag? Loaded the car? Somehow found the room? Chased a toddler? Abandoned a newborn? Loaded back up? Returned home, only to crash in a pile of exhaustion. #nothanks #noteveryday #justonceaweek
In my desperate attempt to feel like a human again, you’ll find this introverted mom scrolling while breastfeeding. My phone is always in my hand, and it’s just the way I like it. My work colleagues are right there on my phone. I find them in the Facebook Groups, on Instagram, and by text messages. I need to be social, and without visitors, I seek it out online.
I much rather dive into my phone when nursing than any other time of the day. I’d rather nurse and scroll, then spend time on my phone when she’s awake and alert. Catching up on my limited attempt at social interaction is best done when nursing.
I don’t really like breastfeeding.
The other reason you’ll find me nursing and scrolling because of breastfeeding kind of sucks.
Don’t get me wrong, I love breastfeeding. I advocate for breastfeeding and breastfeeding is one of the best decisions I made for my family.
But it kind of sucks.
Breastfeeding is boring.
Breastfeeding isn’t always comfortable.
Breastfeeding is exhausting.
And just because my kid is cute, doesn’t’ mean I want to admire her for a solid 10 minutes or more.
Another human sucking on the nipple is just weird. I need a distraction.
It’s most evident when handling the difficulties of nursing a toddler. I have to be preoccupied because the rage, the feeling of being touched out, and the overwhelming sensation of losing control of your life needs a distraction.
It is less weird with my baby, but still, what else is there to do? I would rather not obsess about the draining sensation from my breasts as a hot acidic mouth with teeth latches and suckles. #hardpass #wheresmyphone?
If you’re looking for me… I’ll be nursing & scrolling.
Yes! I don’t mind nursing but I don’t love it either…it’s definitely a bit boring. I’m also an i trovert and socialize largely on my phone. They’re busy anyway and anyone who’s nursed a slightly older baby knows how dostracted they get. I can’t say a peep or touch her anyway or she’ll just get distracted…so phone it is!
Good grief, people must have way too much spare time if they spend it criticising a mother for finding a fun way to pass time whilst feeding a child. And face it, it’s a LOT of time, especially with a newborn.
Totally agree! I’m a stay at home mom too and it’s lonely! Spot on about scrolling while they’re nursing and not when they’re awake and alert. There is so much mom guilt, but this? Come on, give me a break! I just want to scroll through Instagram and feel normal and connected for a while. Scroll on, mama!
I really enjoyed this post because of it’s honesty. As a nursing mom, I’m right there with you. There’s no literally no way for me stay awake at night without my phone.
Speaking to your loneliness though, I realized that my scrolling was making me a little bit more lonely if that makes sense? I was comparing myself to so many other put together mothers and families and I finally decided to stop scrolling as much and start reading books in efforts to make myself grow. Not bashing you WHATSOEVER because like I said, I 100 percent get it! But just as one scrolling mom to another, try avoiding social media while nursing and see how much it changes your mindset?! And if that’s not your cup of tea, I get it girl.
My gosh you took the way I felt and wrote it down before I even realised that’s how I felt!
I’ve felt so guilty for being on my phone during feeds but it’s pretty much the only free time I get while she’s distracted!
Omg yes! When I had my third daughter, the ONLY time I even got to look at my phone, answer any texts or emails, was when I nursed her! I was thankful for those breaks because in between them I was running around doing a million things for my other 2 kids! It also helped me stay awake for night feedings as well!
Thank you for this post!! With my first I was constantly guilty about missing out on bonding time because I would regularly watch Forensic Files or another TV show while breastfeeding. It wasn’t just loneliness or boredom with me, it was honestly a distraction because breastfeeding is SO stinking painful early on, and I had no complications like mastitis or clogged ducts. I watched TV as a distraction, and then it turned into a habit. But I honestly always felt guilty because I “knew” other moms didn’t zone out in front of a TV or their phone. I wish I knew more about mom blogs back then – I love that there are so many ladies out there willing to be supportive and share their stories.
I used to do this for the same reasons. But then I read many research findings of phone affecting baby s brain because of thin skull. Immediately dropped the habit and kept phone faaaar away. Initially it was very very boring my eyes would search for phone but then I started making faces to my son and he would just flash the cutest smile while feeding. After many sessions of admiring his curls, his eyes, his pouted lips, I fell in love head over heels with nursing without distractions. I had even tears of joy looking at my son feeding. Ofcourse, to each their own. I’m not judging. Trust me I will NEVER judge a mom!!! I used to be one of the moms who scrolls through Facebook and reply to what’s app messages, even send offers to clients too.