Perfection.
This week the pressure to be perfect in every sense of my being has been immense.
The overwhelming thought that I can’t do something perfectly is keeping me from even trying. I want to be a better friend but because I can’t do it perfectly, I stopped showing up. I want to be a better consumer but because I can’t do it perfectly all the time, I stopped shopping smart. I want to be a perfect mom, but I can’t so I started making plans to get out of motherhood.
All of these thoughts are wrong, I don’t need to achieve perfection to be a better version and make an impact.
I’m terrified to write anything in fear someone will find a skeleton in my closet and rip me to shreds about it. I’m terrified to doing something different only to be criticized for not doing it perfectly. I’m terrified of advocating in fear of being called a black pot. I’m terrified to change who I am in fear of being called a hiprocrit.
The internet, and everything tied up from Facebook Groups to Instagram threads doesn’t help. I’ve also learnt its not just online relationships, but in real life ones too. We are constantly surrounded by acts of perfection and sanctimommies tearing apart those who dare fumble to not achieve it.
I just want to try to be better without fear of being torn apart.
I want to try to buy only ethically made clothing without being mocked for the other purchases in my life. I need to start somewhere. It’s not all or nothing.
The sanctimommies of the internet forgot this, and they are trapped in this cycle of all or nothing.
Logic is out the window with each keyboard warrior wondering why you care about locally produced clothing when you own an iPhone manufacutred with child labour. If you think we think we’re perfect, your highly mistaken. We recognize our flaws and we are trying our hardest to be better versions of ourselves every day. No need to slam it in our face, or discuss it behind our backs.
The world is a whole lot of grey, and if we could stop talking about the black and whites of each situation, then we could go places. How can we change the world when we shut down people trying to make one small change because they didn’t make the other 99.9?
It starts with a grocery bag, leads to a straw, and then hopefully a toothbrush. Maybe one day you’ll be composting and living off a single container of garbage for a year.
None of us can be perfect. I’ll never be a perfect eco-citizen, mother, or friend, but I can try. Every day I make small changes, just like you can too. Every small change adds up.
Next time you see someone trying to advocate to be better, and do better, instead of tearing them apart for the skeletons in their closet that contradict their words, let it soak in. How can we support these small dreams to change the world? How can we support them in changing to be a better version of themselves?
It’s okay to not do everything perfectly, and it’s about time we stopped obsessing with the need for 100% when just showing up and trying is the best start to the day.
Tell me, whats one thing you’re trying to be better at but keep stumbling at upon the way?
I’m trying to shop local, but sometimes I get caught up with the price of a co-op buy or the availability of Walmart/Costco. Perfection. This past week the pressure to be perfect in every sense of my being has been immense.
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