How does one person manage to put a baby and toddler to bed? They don’t.
Managing bedtime with two kids by yourself is one of the most challenging and dreadful parts of my job as a mom. However, because of my husband’s unpredictable life schedule, I’m usually the solo bedtime mama.
If we aren’t friends already or don’t follow me, then you need to know I am not the perfect mom. I believe in screen time and playgrounds. I believe in organic and McDonalds. But most importantly, I believe in bedtime cuddles.
Bedtime with 2 Young Kids
Let it be known my toddler hates bedtime. Sleep has been a challenge for us since the get-go. He was a purple crybaby who just screamed most nights until babyhood and even into toddlerhood it’s a massive challenge. Adapting to this vague routine has helped, but he’s still a pain the ass to put to bed. For the reason, my toddler is the last child to go to bed.
We are not a cry-it-out family and believe in a compassionate bedtime. This isn’t perfect, and sometimes there are tears and frustrations but I try my best every night. That’s what matters most. My children also hate reading books and bath time just riles them up. These traditional bedtime routines just don’t work for us.
My Bedtime Schedule for a Single Parent
Here’s just one example of my bedtime strategy when I’m on the solo parent bedtime duty:
4 – 5 pm: Dinner chaos.
5- 6 pm: Post Dinner Terror.
6 pm: Start thinking about putting the baby to bed.
6:30 pm: Put on a show or movie for the toddler.
6:35 pm: Put baby to bed [Nighttime Diaper, Jammies, Boobs, rock to sleep]
7: 15pm: Finish watching TV with a toddler.
8:00 pm: Put toddler to bed.
8:15 pm: Rock baby on the end of the bed while sitting with toddler to convince him its okay to fall asleep.
9:00 pm: hopefully put the baby down in bed, and toddler sleeping.
As you can see, my bedtime routine relies on the helpful hand of a screen babysitter. Without screentime, bedtime can be chaos as he doesn’t play quietly or nicely by himself long enough to put the other child to bed.
This results in two separate bedtimes and a long night. It’s tough but it works for my family and meets the needs of my children.
Bedtime with a toddler and a baby is a challenge but the biggest tip is to keep your cool. They know when you get stressed and if you even have a scent of “I have something important to do” they will create all the night time chaos.
What if they both go to sleep at the same time?
For a while, they both went to bed at the same time, but that’s shifted as you can tell. If they both need to go to bed at the same time I would rock the baby in the toddler’s bedroom while listening to our sleep music.
Sometimes I lay her down on the floor (or in her dockatot when we had one) and then would continue to help my toddler fall asleep. Once asleep, sneak out with the baby and put her in her own bed. This is mostly how I did bedtime with a toddler and a newborn.
Yes, my toddler still needs someone to sit with him to go to bed. We did a sleep lady shuffle to get there, but we haven’t been able to convince him its okay to go to bed without mommy and daddy. I’m okay with that. He’s only little once.
How do you do the sleep routine thing with two kids? Are you a solo bedtime parent? Or do you get help?
It’s okay if it all hits the fan and you stay up watching the Lego movie until the kids crash on the couch. Parenting is fucking hard and cut yourself some slack. One bad night won’t ruin them.
I’m the proud mama of a 2 yr old and a 7 month old. And your toddler sounds exactly like mine. We actually put her in a double bed at 17 months old because cry it out never did work…
Anyways, for solo bedtimes I’ve had a lot of success giving my toddler the video baby monitor handheld screen. And she watches me in her bed quietly while I rock/nurse the baby to sleep in the next room. She feels secure because she can see me. Often she’s fallen asleep by the time I put the baby down. And if not I lay down with her after. But I always check back! Good luck, hopefully it helps!
Your bedtime routine sounds exactly like mine! I have a 4 year old and an 8 months old at home and I also have to do it all by myself almost every night as my husband is a chef. Many of your posts actually remind me of my life, thoughts and feelings lol. I start dinner chaos around 5:30pm, finish an hour later (if I’m lucky and my toddler decides to eat and not to play with anything on the table), put the toddler in front of the tv at 7pm while bringing baby to bed and nurse her one last time, go back to toddler and try to brush her teeth and take a shower while being as quiet as possible (which is impossible…), bring toddler to bed around 7:30pm…and if I’m really really really lucky, have some me-time by 8pm. However, usually I go back to calm down the baby, put her back to bed, go back to toddler and give her the 30th good-night kiss before being able to breath again some time after 9pm.
My toddler can’t stay in one room alone for more than 5 seconds. She’ll just start crying and screaming and will eventually run after me. However, the baby LOVES the toddler and will not fall asleep when she hears or sees her sister. So I decided that the tv is my little helper by keeping the toddler occupied while baby has some toddler-free time to calm down. And it does work, more or less. The next step will be to have the baby sleep together with her sister in the toddler room as I’d like to have my bedroom back (we have a small apartment and only one room for the kids), I just don’t know yet how to do it lol.
Good luck with your bedtime routine! Evenings are really the worst part of the day when you have a challenging toddler and a small baby that seems to be teething or having a growth spurt (or whatever else they could have) constantly. But I’m convinced that we’ll laugh about it in a couple of years and might even miss this crazy-chaotic time.
I’m so happy I found your blog. I’m due with baby number 2 in 8 weeks and was really having a hard time wrapping my mind around how I’m going to manage bedtime with my 3yo and the newborn. I really appreciate your honesty. Thank you!